This is going to be so hard

On Thursday night I got ready for bed, took my usual dose of Unisom (supposedly it helps with nausea in the morning according to the OB/GYN) and Callie and I snuggled in the bed for what I thought would be a good night's sleep. About 15 minutes later my phone rang. It was my Mom and I figured I'll just call her tomorrow and ignored her call. She called again so I answered it. This was not a pleasant phone call. She asked me if I had taken my sleeping pill and at that point I knew something was wrong. I asked her what was going on and she said "its Grandaddy." I then knew he had passed away. Words cannot express how difficult this was to hear. Yes, he has been sick for quite some time now and we all expected it, but you still can't prepare yourself for that phone call. My Grandparents mean the world to me and I love them both more than words can describe. As I drove to Erwin, I asked God so many questions: Did he suffer? Why was it time now? Am I going to be able to handle this loss? But why now, he won't get to see the baby when it comes in December? As I arrived at the Long Term Care Unit I knew what I was getting ready to go thru. Grandaddy and Grandmother had made the decision a very long time ago to donate their bodies to medical research, personally I think it is a wonderful thing and plan to do the same for myself. My mom and daddy have discussed this with Ellen and I in great detail and we knew the plan. The plan was, when either one of them passed we had 6 hours to view the body before the funeral home picked them up. This meant, no funeral with a casket to say your last goodbye. Instead it meant a memorial service and if we needed to say our goodbyes we had to come to wherever he was to see him one last time. Some people don't like to see bodies in a casket, I don't either. But for most it is part of the grieving process to see that person one last time. My mom met me outside and just stood and hugged me. I was the first grandchild to arrive. We cried together and she asked me if I was ready to go in. As we walked down the hall to his room I tried to prepare myself. I walked in and he just looked the same as he always did when he was asleep. My Grandmother, who had been moved from Quillen Rehab to the Long Term Care Unit on Monday last week, was sitting in her wheelchair next to his bed holding his hand. They had been married for 67 years and it really showed me that True Love never fails. The next few hours are a bit of a blur. When our family had all gotten there, my Uncle Joe led us in prayer. It is such a blessing to know that God was looking over all of us. The Lord truly blessed my Grandaddy, as he passed from this life in his sleep. Before I left, I had a few moments alone with he and Grandmother. It is heart wrenching to know that he is gone but he was such a fine Christian man who loved and served the Lord whole heartedly. I know he is in a much better place and am very comforted to know that. I never knew just how many lives he touched until today. At church this morning, every prayer that was offered, his name was mentioned. He was an elder for 46 years and was truly a shepherd of our congregation. He will be greatly missed by many. One of our Deacons was filling in for the sermon, our minister was out of town. As I opened my bible to the scripture reading, I looked down and noticed a verse I had circled. It was one of Grandaddy's favorite scriptures and he also lived his life by this verse; "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God." Matthew 5:9. As I started to cry, I looked over at my mom and pointed it out to her. We both smiled knowing how much we love and miss him. This upcoming week is going to be so hard but I know the Lord is watching over all of us.